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Who wins?

Stapler vs Tape dispenser

Stapler wins 70% to 30%. 6 more put them in the same row. From Office Supplies Tier List. Pick a side.

MrWaffle420 on Stapler: the Swingline red stapler is iconic thanks to Office Space
omarl84 on Tape dispenser: the heavy tape dispenser that weighs 10 pounds

Office Supplies Tier List: the full ranking

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