Who wins?

Crowbar vs Machete

Machete wins 83% to 17%. 64 more put them in the same row. From Zombie Apocalypse Weapons Tier List. Pick a side.

random_possum_75 on Crowbar: Gordon Freeman used it for a whole game against headcrabs

spicy_goblin_2304 on Machete: light, quiet and it clears brush on the way out

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