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Who wins?

Bumper cars vs Teacups

Bumper cars wins 60% to 40%. From Theme Park Ride Types Tier List. Pick a side.

silent_sandwich_28 on Bumper cars: ramming your dad from the side is the best memory
throwaway7944 on Teacups: never a long line and a real thrill for zero wait

Theme Park Ride Types Tier List: the full ranking

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